I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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