physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
