Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
