Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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