So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm sobbing to NWA
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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