You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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