you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
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They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize