lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
