He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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