Someone shit on the floor
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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