wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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