imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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