That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
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My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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