i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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