At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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