they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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