absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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