we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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