Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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