I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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