this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
