I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
