and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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