It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
