I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
