i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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