yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
