He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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