he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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