Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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