DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
