I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
