It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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