I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
