Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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