saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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