i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
