Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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