please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
