i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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