I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
