apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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