i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
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I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
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You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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