Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
