at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
