It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
i out mim tonsoeep
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
