I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize