thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We're too hungover to prance.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
