my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
