ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
