i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
