She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
