physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
