WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
