if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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