hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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