god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
