I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
