I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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