Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
