Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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