Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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