Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
