You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
