haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
