walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
