Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
