Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
