he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize