Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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