Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
