i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
