Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
